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[talkative]

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*Don't limit yourself, live your best life! Or unlife. As it be. The difference is mostly the breathing, you know? You don't have to smell really gross stuff as much anymore because you don't need to breathe in unless you talk. But then again some people can achieve a better sense of scent and then talking in smelly areas becomes really unpleasant and now if you don't think that's a problem then I don't know what your priorities are.

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[talkative]

"...something?"

They look up from where they were preparing the tattoo space for the next patron, and then step away from it to see what Max has brought over. It looks... no, they've got no real idea what might be under that wrapping paper.

[maximumcake]

"It's a gift. But something practical too. Now that you have a mortal body, you're going to have to make sure you're keeping yourself hydrated. So, here."

He offers it out to them. "Go ahead and unwrap it."

[talkative]

That kind of speech makes Jackie look at the item Max gave them a bit dubiously, but after a moment, they are going to start and unwrap it.

"...a bottle?"

[maximumcake]

"A water bottle," Max corrects. That distinction is important.

"A pretty one that you can even decorate to suit yourself since you'll be keeping it on your person at all times." Now look who is giving orders to who?

"You know, the secret to healthy glowing human skin is hydration, Jackie. If you let yourself get dehydrated you'll start to get all chapped and dry. You might even get dandruff or scaly red skin on your legs and elbows. Not to mention how your cuticles might start to peel and your feet might get cracks in them. Oh, and your nails too!"

Is Max laying it on a little thick here? Yes. But, he isn't entirely wrong, either. Good hydration is important, and if there's one thing he knows will motivate this ex-vampire to take care of themself, it's a threat to their beauty routine.

[talkative]

The worst thing about all of this is that Max is right, of course, Jackie knows this. Sure, it's delivered in a very theatrical fashion, but the ex-vampire can appreciate that. Perhaps more than if it was done matter of factly. After all, what's the point in life if you don't live it with some flair and drama?

That doesn't mean that he has to like the fact that their needs have changed as a human. "Everything's gotten so much more difficult to keep track of," they complain as they finish unpacking, set aside the wrapping and look at the bottle. "My favourite conditioner is just not the right thing any more, you know? Just doesn't do the right things. And I just found out the other day that another moisturiser works better, too, but it feels less pleasant...

The worst thing, of course - but no, that's too much, let's just leave it at the fact that living is more of a hassle than I remembered it to be." One word: Your body actually sweats and smells. The WORST. So unpredictable.

[maximumcake]

Max is, after all, just speaking in Jackie's own language. How better to get on Jackie's level?

"All new skin and hormone chemistry means a whole new set of maintenance rules, right? I get it. Oh, and it might change again when the seasons turn, too. I have to switch my facial cleansers for summer and winter. One dries me out too much."

He does actually feel for Jackie on this. Max doesn't have as extensive of a routine, but he does put more into maintaining his looks than either Rowan or Lucas. And, he's pretty sure he knows what some of those further grievances might be. Humans secrete all kinds of things. It's very inconvenient. And smelly.

"I hate to break it to you, but diet can play a factor in all of that too. What kind of stuff have you been eating?" You have been eating regularly, right Jackie?