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Text | Call | Video | In-Person | Wildcard*
*Don't limit yourself, live your best life! Or unlife. As it be. The difference is mostly the breathing, you know? You don't have to smell really gross stuff as much anymore because you don't need to breathe in unless you talk. But then again some people can achieve a better sense of scent and then talking in smelly areas becomes really unpleasant and now if you don't think that's a problem then I don't know what your priorities are.
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That's Revvie, Ami's daughter. [They indicate another picture above the desk that shows the pair of them together.] She's cute, right? [But Jackie said that he was an only sibling.]
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She reminds me of Elle, [he explains his tone, hoping that that will stop a misunderstanding] who was... well, is. Back where I'm from. [He extends a hand in a one-armed shrugging gesture.] She's a part of my friends group back home, little sister of one of the others who just dropped in with us and really is calling the shots half the time. Prodigy student of a teacher who rejected me when I tried to pick up the violin back in the day, something about me not having enough talent. I never picked up any instrument after that, so that's... a point of contention for me that's really not her fault. Always makes it weird, though.
I don't know what kind of kid Revvie is, but Elle sure knows how cute she is and uses it for evil. [He grins, indicating that he's joking, even though - well, a lot of things that Elle uses her ten-year-old looks for, many people would call evil.]
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Nah, Revvie's just a sweetheart. The worst she does is get under your feet sometimes, and maybe a tantrum every now and again. [And that's understandable, since for so many years she was more or less cooped up inside. Their tone is a little drawn, though, buried under fondness. They miss her.]
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[Not Elle, he doesn't so much care about his current pack past the obvious ways in which he does care. Vinculum bond and all. But his old pack... He did have pictures of them on him no matter how small his luggage, they just didn't make their way here.]
...but that's not why I came here. [He turns to Rowan.] You made me a list?
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Right. It wasn't too much, was it? I was writing one out for Max and Lucas so I figured it didn't take much to do another copy for you too. I know I was kind of vague the other day, 'cos as much as I know the rules and stuff, I've not thought about the options a lot.
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If you wrote ones for Max and Lucas, I guess that's where the options that... wouldn't work for me keeping on all my clothes come from. [So that is cleared up.]
For your hard nos, that's pretty much my list too for what I would want to do to someone - and then add, of course, that I would not want to have you touch me anywhere where there's normally clothes.
What do you mean by anything with teeth that's not biting?
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[Rowan crosses back over to the bed and sits down there. They hesitate for a moment, before offering Jackie a smile.]
Actually, before we talk about all of that, can we talk about Max? [Better to get this over and done with, before they get any hopes up about what they might get a chance to play out with Jackie.] He told me about the journal you want him to write. I know what you meant by it, but you realise the people he sleeps with really can't consent to that?
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What do you think I meant by it?
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[Rowan pauses for a moment, and then reaches over to the beside table, pulling out a card from the drawer and holding it up. It's one of the ones that Jackie made for Max.] The fact that you thought these were necessary makes me assume you thought the same I did, that he's been trained to not think of himself and to say yes blindly to anything.
And I get that going over stuff helps, but the thing is, even if this helps Max now, in the long run if people here found out what happened and are angry, that could be just as bad. For both of you, to be honest. I mean, I don't like the idea, and it's I've not bared all for you to see before. But what happens between me and Max is private, you know?
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Good point. [What's the chances that people truly won't find out? Considering Max told Rowan, whom else is he going to tell or has already told? He needs to call Max back in on that. Stat.
For hell's sake. This is what you get for trying and helping a Kine out, apparently.] ...I'm not interested in knowing what he's up to with whom, don't get me wrong there. I honestly hope that we won't have to go about anything in detail. The point is that he needs to really write down what he did, how he felt when he did it, and if he wants to do it again - I doubt that he will manage to really pin those thoughts down otherwise, if he doesn't see them written out again and again. I hope that after the two months he'll have gathered enough information to work with it, and perhaps acquired some skill at recognising those things afterwards without having to write them down.
I doubt he'll ever be able to do it in the moment. Erik, no matter what else I think about him, knew what he was doing. [He taps his fingers against the front of the chair.] He's got a thousand years of skill at manipulation on both of us combined. I doubt we'll be able to undo what he did. So in my opinion, there's no point in trying. It will be much more helpful for Max if he - with my, with your help - learns to analyse situations after the fact and put down rules before the next sexual situation so they will be there.
You weren't there when I made him give me the yes and no's that are on the card. It was ...not like pulling teeth. Worse. Even in the perfectly non-sexual situation that we were in at that time it took work for him to come up with even that.
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But he can't even say no to this right now. That's why I said I'd talk to you about it, 'cos he's really freaking out about it, you know? He looked like I was going to bite his head off when he told me. [A shadow of pain crosses Rowan's face, remembering Max's breakdown. They need to make sure that doesn't happen again.]
What I suggested was that he write down what happens between us, me and him, and we talk about it together afterwards. Lucas might be able to help with the same, and you? 'Cos you're right, he needs to learn his boundaries, and it's a good way to do it, but involving everyone else unwillingly is a bit much, right? And as much as I wish we could ask everyone to help, this is Max's history to tell, and that's up to him and who he trusts with it.
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I'm fine with not seeing them. But I want him to do the writing things down. That way it would be private still - and if both you and Lucas, and me, talk about what notes he took on sexual activity with us, I'm sure that would be helpful and guide him into thinking about the rest himself. [He frowns, and bounces slightly on his feet, forth and back.] I didn't think he would freak out that much.
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Will you tell him that, or do you want me to? I'm sure you're right about the writing things down thing, and people can't really complain if it's kept private. And we ain't dating, by the way. Good friends, yeah, but I'm trying to get him to hook up with Lucas. They'll be good for one another.
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[If he had a breakdown like that not long before or after his conversation with Jackie... well, that sure wouldn't have helped how he's taking it now. He might address that, too. Or not. He'll see.
But that is by the by. He pauses, and gives Rowan a very, very long, studying look. And then tilts his had and points out in a perfectly conversational tone:] He talks about you and Lucas in one breath, and describes his relationship with you exactly the same way in which he describes his relationship with Lucas. Or the way he thinks about you and him.
Why do you think you wouldn't be good for him?
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Anyway, you wanted to talk about that list, right?
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[But he's not going to push and drop the topic as well. He gets not doing relationships. And also: This might be useful information later. And then he's said it. Anyway.]
Right.
So one of the maybes that have me intrigued... how far would you want to go with a collar. Would you, say, be open to taking it out of the bedroom? With all the stipulations about no clothes removal in public and such firmly in place, of course.
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Which is luckily fairly easy with the suggestion he makes. Their eyes go a little wide, darkening a little.] Is that something you would like? 'Cos I figured it'd be off the table, given that neither of us wants to strip where we can be seen. If you can think of a way to make it work, though, I mean. You saw me on the weekend, right?
Speaking of collars, though, and the weekend, I was thinking if you want to play more often, you know how some people use collars to signify when play's happening? How'd you feel about cuffs like the ones there were on the weekend, where they have clips for you, to work the same way? With a collar too, if that's what you want. They could also be taken outside.
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[He likes the sound of it. Easy, clean, obvious borders around scenes that aren't tied to places, or even behaviour, necessarily.]
We could go shopping together for that, [he suggests.] That way, we could try things on you. See what you like or don't like, if the combination works for you. I'd love the idea of a collar on you. [Preferably a broad one, covering as much skin as possible, too. It'd make some things easier on him.]
And I'm sure I can figure something out. I'm quite ingenious when it comes to finding solutions for unusual predicaments.
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Sure, I'm happy to go shopping. [Although they're going to check when Lucas is working and pick another day just because that would be a bit awkward.] If you want to set down rules for address and whatnot I guess now would be the time to think about that too.
What else was there off the list you wanted to talk about?
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And... [He looks back at the list.] ...so have you thought about blindfolds, next time?
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And yeah, I still want to try blindfolds. I only got rid of them in the tent because I was too nervous about someone I didn’t know managing to sneak through. You’re good to throw them in the mix whenever you want.
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...in that case. Because it's you. [And why is this so hard to say? It's not like hasn't done this before. (But then that was before he started... not doing it any more. And there was a reason for that. But Rowan understands. With Rowan, it might be okay.) And it's necessary. Jasper indicated that the best could be sated by climaxing sexually instead of drinking from the source of sexual arousal, and if that's the answer...] I might want to try and [and there's just no graceful way to say that that doesn't sound pretentious] put my dick in you while you can't see it. I'd of course use protection.
I can't promise that that won't [how to put it] put a damper on my mood, if it doesn't ...feel right, but I would like to try.
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Because you want to, right? I don’t need it, I only want what you’re comfortable with. As little or as much as you can give me.
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[He's already said that it might not work out, but he'll repeat it in Rowan's word.]
I don't know that I'll be comfortable. But... [and then there is a very, very lengthy pause, in which he tries to capture the "why you" and put it into words.] ...if I can do that with anyone without them forgetting that I'm pretty too, and not just handsome, it's you. [It's that relinquishing of the last shreds of ambiguity that is the issue.]
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In that case, let me know what I can say or do to make it more comfortable for you. Anything you think of in the moment or afterwards, too. Whatever you need to make it work for you, that ain’t on my nos, you can do.
[They hesitate, and then add:] that includes using as little or as much protection as you need to go ahead. For me, getting ready was almost as bad as the thing itself, so if that’s the same for you... [Even if it still makes them a little uncomfortable still, in this case Jackie’s comfort is more important, since safety isn’t a factor here.]
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Late warning for references to dysphoria
...and general gender things
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Absolutely didn't typo love instead of lust absolutely not
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